Björk: Human Behaviour

I’ve always been a Björk nut, and so loved writing Human Behaviour: The Stories Behind Every Song by Björk (Carlton Books, 2002). In addition to Björk’s work with the Sugarcubes and her solo albums, up to that year’s Vespertine, I hunted down her early records with teenage Reykjavik punk bands Tappi Tikarrass [translation: Cork the Bitch’s Ass] and Kukl; Gling-Gló, an album of Nordic standards recorded with an elderly Icelandic jazz trio; and the ultra-rare, charmingly precocious album of kiddies’ songs, flute solos and Beatles and Stevie Wonder covers that she released, aged 11, in 1977.

Talking Heads: Once in a Lifetime

My second contribution to this august series was Once In A Lifetime: The Stories Behind Every Song By Talking Heads (Carlton Books, 2004). This study dissected the career of New York’s most contrary, cerebral art-punks, from their earliest days supporting the Ramones, Patti Smith and Blondie at CBGB’s to embracing electronica, funk, Afrobeat and audacious musical experimentation, making movies – and wearing a Big Suit. Drawing on my previous interviews with David Byrne, it was a joy to analyse this existential nervous tic of a band.

Queen: We Will Rock You

We Will Rock You, the Queen musical, had already been running at the Dominion Theatre in London’s West End for two years when I was approached in 2004 about writing a tie-in book to the production. The show was clearly set to be a commercial phenomenon and, working with the musical’s author, Ben Elton, I wrote the lengthy text that accompanied the full script, lavish images and song lyrics of We Will Rock You: The Official Book (Carlton Books, 2004). Working on this project entailed, if I can be frank, a few more trips to the Dominion Theatre than was strictly desirable, but the book proved a vastly popular marketing spin-off as We Will Rock You ran for a further ten years.

Top of the Pops: Mishaps, Miming and Music

When Top of the Pops was taken off the air after 42 years in 2006, I wrote an official commemorative book, Top of the Pops: Mishaps, Miming and Music (BBC Books, 2007), interviewing 70 major figures from the show’s history. Noddy Holder reminisced about all-day backstage boozing sessions, Cilla Black told me she loved Marc Bolan’s ‘girly shoes’, and Donny Osmond claimed that the ‘Crazy Horses’ dance was based on a Samoan tribal ritual. Flick Colby painted Pan’s People as sly subversives, Showaddywaddy recalled chatting to Bing Crosby, and ‘Diddy’ David Hamilton admitted that he once accidentally hosted the show on acid. The front cover was, unfortunately, very pre-Operation Yewtree, and the book brought me back into contact with Jimmy Savile, who was just as horrible as he was when I worked with him in a Leeds hospital in 1983.

The Secrets of the Lost Symbol

I tackled a very different subject matter when I wrote The Secrets of the Lost Symbol: Unlocking the Masonic Code (Harper Collins, 2009). The book began life as an relatively straightforward attempt to debunk the latest pseudo-cryptic Dan Brown hogwash, but as I got deeper into the research and talked to past and present inhabitants of the square, it became an extensive study of Freemasonry and its history, societal implications and truly bizarre rituals, perorations and secret ceremonies. I’m still not entirely sure who is the most surprising Freemason: Voltaire, Oscar Wilde, Richard Pryor or Roger de Courcey (it must have been tricky doing the funny handshakes while holding Nookie).

The Periodic Table of Heavy Rock

Science is science and rock is rock, and ne’er the twain shall meet… except in The Periodic Table of Heavy Rock (Ebury Press, 2015). This was an ambitious, some might say audacious, attempt to reimagine the standard tabular arrangement of chemical elements to reflect the properties of hard rock and metal bands. The burning issues were: who are rock’s reactive metals, combustible compounds and waste gases? Did Nirvana equate to lithium, are Iron Maiden truly ferrous, are Bon Jovi essentially a form of musical helium, and would it be harsh to dismiss Bad Company as pig iron? All of these questions, and less, were pondered, and the book even came with a pull-out Heavy Rock Periodic Table wall chart. Which was nice.

The Cure: A Perfect Dream

The Cure celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2018 and I marked the occasion by writing The Cure: A Perfect Dream (Palazzo Editions, 2018), an exhaustive and beautifully illustrated coffee-table-book history of their fantastical career to date, documenting their progress from the punky controversialists of ‘Killing an Arab’ to the festival-headlining, arena-filling rock eminences of today. Long-term band member Boris Williams gave me a very generous and invaluable insider’s perspective, and it was particularly instructive to learn that Robert Smith compared The Cure’s cruel goading in the studio of Lol Tolhurst, at his alcoholic nadir, to ‘some kind of handicapped child being constantly poked with a stick’. With practice, it is possible to read this book in less time than it takes The Cure to play one of their sets.

Depeche Mode: Faith and Devotion

Fortieth anniversaries for post-punk groups were coming thick and fast at the end of the 2010s, and I followed up The Cure with a companion illustrated biography in Depeche Mode: Faith and Devotion (Palazzo Editions, 2019). It traced the trajectory of this curious band of techno-pioneers from early, quirky Vince Clarke-penned electro-doodles to portentous stadium-filling industrial rockers, via tales of musical innovation, questionable sartorial decisions, Berlin, black dogs, alcoholism, heroin addiction and near-death experiences… culminating in the creative rebirth of one of Britain’s most inexplicably tenacious bands.

The Definitive Desert Island Discs

In 2022, Desert Island Discs turned eighty and I marked this auspicious anniversary by writing an official commemorative book. The Definitive Desert Island Discs (BBC Books, 2022) revisited eighty noteworthy episodes from the show’s illustrious history, from Arthur Askey and Gracie Fields right through to Sir Keir Starmer and Adele. I talked to venerable surviving castaways about their experiences on the island, which led Dame Judi Dench to reminisce about slap-up pre-show Soho lunches with Roy Plomley (‘It set you up for the afternoon!’), Joanna Lumley to recall listening to the programme as a girl in Malaya, and Marianne Faithfull to describe her interviewer, Sue Lawley, as ‘a fucking cunt’ (which, sadly, didn’t make it into the book). It was a hoot to write: I hope it ranks alongside the Bible and Shakespeare.